ON HER CAREER
“My ideal career would be to do one kind of independent dramatic film per year and one sort of action film.” – in 2008
“I think it’s great. It makes me feel like wow because I think I am a simple person in so many ways. I love my work, I love what I do so all this icing on the cake is very good.” – on being nominated for and winning awards
“I want to make real good choices, to stretch myself, to be a really good human. I want to live life as art.”
“I don’t want to be one of these actors who can’t act anymore because they don’t live.”
“If you really let yourself live and have a lot of experiences, then those things don’t leave you; they’re part of you. Every character I play is a part of me. I never really feel like I’m making anything up.”
“I’m enjoying playing characters who aren’t particularly nice in nature or who are really troubled. I do think in every character I’ve played there are aspects in my soul that I can relate to, and I try not to be afraid of those things.”
“I used to feel like such a fraud, but now I feel that I’m worthy of this. It comes with age and experience.” – on getting recognition for her work.
“I’m not afraid to play my age. I never was. I’ve never been an ingénue. I like getting older.”
“I don’t know how I became known as a dramatic actress. When people would ask what part I wanted to play next, they expected me to say something like Medea, but I would say, ‘I want to play Indiana Jones!’
“I never get to do light summer films. I tend to do things that are intense and anxiety-provoking. By the time I finish those films, I need to take a nap. I do actually gravitate toward the intense pieces, though. I like characters that are on the edge and also incredibly strong at the same time. I like when a character really teaches you something about yourself, and I find that I am learning something just about every single time.” – in 2008
“So many actors say you have to find something you like in each character. I`ve never bought that. I think there are people in the world who are plain mean. Not many, but some.”
“So many actors wear wigs nowadays. Besides, if someone is hiring me because of how I wear my hair, I don’t want to work with them anyway.”
“There is always one person on the set who has a lot of anxiety, an actor who is really intense and has to stay in character and holds himself away from the rest of us.”
ON HER FILMS
“I think I take a film because I’m in the process of discovering something about myself.”
“When I see the trailers for the film, I’m like, Oh my God! There’s so many tits. Whose are they? ‘Cause only one of us has them. You see them sliding down the bar to the music, just to get everyone excited. Believe it or not, there’s a real story to this movie…though you do see a lot of hot girls dancing as well.” – on Coyote Ugly
“When I was pregnant I gained 70 pounds, and I made ‘The Cooler’ when Jack [Bello's son] was only a year old, so my body was quite different than it usually is. And for woman to come up to me and say things like ‘Thank you for putting a real ass on the screen’ meant so much to me. As much as we don’t like to admit it sometimes, I think we have a responsibility in Hollywood to young woman. They see us as role models, and I’m happy that my butt was a role model for some.” (2004)
“I did a lot of work before then, but I don’t think it was until The Cooler that I came into myself as an actor, and that other people noticed me as an actor.”
“My biggest dream since I was a kid was to be the woman sneaking on the pirate ship dressed like a man, who was this great sword fighter, and the captain fell in love with her. When I got into acting, I told my dad my dream was to be Indiana Jones. He said, ‘Honey, you want to be the girl in Indiana Jones?’ And I said, ‘No, I want to be Indiana Jones.’ ” – on why she chose to do The Mummy 3
“It’s the only movie I don’t appear naked in.” – on The Mummy 3
“I’m a mother, and it’s second nature for me to play a mom. I love that they are in this complicated family dynamic, which is how it is for most people. I never like to see these easy, down-pat families on films, because that’s just not real life for most people.” – on playing a mother in The Mummy 3
ON LIFE
“I think one question can kind of encompass everything, which is what is my destiny? I’ve thought that since I was a young kid. And every day more, now I’m really realizing that the unfolding of a journey is an answer in itself. There’s no end point that you get to and go, that’s the one thing I’m supposed to be doing.” – on the essential question she’s trying to answer
ON LOVE
“The whole idea of monogamy is nonsensical to me. I suppose I understand the idea of a lifelong helpmate and friend. But when you have to stay sexually monogamous to this one person, I think it’s usually a big fat lie. Read the statistics. Seventy percent of people are having affairs. And if they’re not, they’re jerking off to porn every night.”
“I didn’t understand monogamy. I couldn’t figure out how that could last. And then I met Bryn and I started to understand the beauty of constancy and history and change and going on the roller coaster with someone—of having a partner in life.” (2008)
“I had a couple of drinks, so I felt brave. I walked up and said, ‘Can you take this cake and put a candle in it? And by the way, do you have a girlfriend?’ From that night on, we’ve been together.” – on when she first talked to her fiance Bryn in 2007
“I always wanted the fairy tale, but now I want someone who is a great partner. When you fall head over heels for someone, you’re not falling in love with who they are as a person; you’re falling in love with your idea of love.”
“I certainly have been in love before, with Jack’s dad, but I don’t think I was emotionally or spiritually ready to really have that commitment in my life. I was so cynical about monogamy and long-term relationships, but I’m really happy about my personal life right now.” – in 2008
“My life is a romantic adventure. I think we chose each other because we really bonded on that. He is a man who has so much positive energy and he really creates a sense of fun in my life.” – on her fiance, Bryn, in 2008
ON MOTHERHOOD AND FAMILY
“After I had my son, the moment he came out of my body, I felt more love than I ever could have imagined, and more fear than I ever could have imagined. Because I can’t even go to the space to think of if something happened to Jack, what I would do.” – on becoming a mother
“I don’t think you understand what levels or what fears until you have a child of your own. I mean, I’ve never loved someone so much and I’ve never been so afraid in my life. And the truth is I would kill someone, whoever tried to hurt him. I would. I have no doubt about it.” – on the lengths a mother would go to to protect her child
“His real bug is basketball. My child is obsessed. One of his first words, after ‘Mama,’ ‘Dada’ and ‘dog,’ was ‘basketball.’ ” – on her son
“I remember the night he was born. It was 22 hours of labor and a thunderstorm with nothing more than an aspirin. I never felt so much love and fear at the same time…. I had this notion that would be the way to do it. I had a midwife, and after 12 hours I said, “We’re going to stay here and stick it out.” Believe me, there were times where I wanted to say, “Get the ambulance — I’m done.” But then I thought, “I can do anything for 24 hours” and it was almost exactly 24 hours. I can’t imagine giving birth in a sterile environment like a hospital.” – on giving birth
“I need to trust God to take care of him. If you have faith, it makes you relax. I think the greatest thing we need to teach our kids is to be our most authentic selves.”
“Twenty years ago, my friend, who is a Celtic healer, said, ‘I feel this blue energy around you.’ So when I was pregnant, we thought, ‘blue’.” – on her son’s middle name
ON EVERYTHING ELSE
“I’m the same exact person I was when I worked at Tartine, but a lot less bitchy, probably. Did you know I got pegged the worst waitress in the city? Some magazine wrote that in a review of the restaurant.” (1997)
“The thing is I don’t separate a character’s sexuality from what she eats for breakfast. I’m not interested in living that cliché and living in that puritanical nature of things. I don’t think that sexuality is something separate. It is like it has become a shadow part of ourselves, which I think is very unfortunate – I myself try to get that shadow out into the light.”
“Traveling always gives me a new perspective on life, myself and the world. Taking trips allows me to not only find answers outside of myself but inside as well.”
“Where I came from, nobody was an actor. So I took a class, and I loved it. The next year I moved to New York City with 300 bucks in my pocket and a trash bag filled with clothes.”
“I said, ‘I feel like I’m supposed to be an actor, but I also feel like it’s a selfish profession, considering what I was going to do.’ And he told me, ‘You serve best by doing the thing that you love most.’ ” – on her old college mentor who encouraged her in her career
“I’m interested in people who have lived, who are searching and questioning. I have more in common with John than probably any friend I’ve ever met. We read the same books—we’re self-help and philosophy junkies.” – on being friends with senior citizens
“As I’ve gotten older I’ve become more open. You stop judging yourself and you stop judging others. And it doesn’t matter anymore if anybody likes you.”
“I’m an OK skier, but I hate moguls. I’m definitely not a ski bunny, I’m always in my black clothes!” – on whether she did any skiing whilst in Sundance (2008) for the film festival.
“My weight fluctuates about 15 pounds because I enjoy eating and dislikes regular exercise. I’ve never been one to like really skinny bodies. When I see these young women getting skinner every day, that’s not an image I want to put out there. I prefer to show myself as a real woman and a real person; I don’t want to get caught up in that ego challenge of the skinnier I am, the better … which is easy to do. There are a lot of women now who have regular bodies who are in the media and are beautiful … women who are strong with regular bodies and aren’t starving themselves.”
“Padma Lakshmi and Gail Simmons from Top Chef are gorgeous and fabulous with intelligent points of view.” – on who she considers to be the most powerful women on television, quoted at the Variety luncheon in 2009
“My friends and I have become completely addicted. Even last week, we had a party for a friend. 30 people in a backyard in Hollywood with a karaoke DJ singing till two in the morning.” – on her addiction to karaoke!
“I often get, ‘Who are you to think you can be political just because you’re an actress?’ My answer is, ‘Who am I to not get involved when I’ve been given this amazing platform?’ I really do think everyone can help make a change.” – on her charity and political work
“I walked in and she goes, ‘I love you!’ And I go, ‘I love you, too!’” We went up to her hotel room and made French onion dip in a wine glass and had chips and salsa and talked all night.” – on best friend Carrie Ann Moss
“She is so compassionate. She is my parenting mentor.” – on Carrie Ann Moss
“My mother has always loved to laugh. She always told me that if you can have a sense of humor about yourself, you can get through anything.”
“Oh man, I saw Kristen in Into the Wild, and I thought this kid has such depth and integrity and gorgeousness. I’m so thrilled with what’s happening to her. She deserves every bit of it.” – On Kristen Stewart
OTHERS TALK ABOUT MARIA
Amy Brenneman – “Maria Bello, a dear friend of mine who is a wonderful actress, just spent six months in China doing “Mummy 3,” and she was just talking to me about missing her boys.”
Amy Brenneman – “We adore each other. She was reading the script, Downloading Nancy, on the set of our movie and she was like, ‘This is really f—ed up. I’ve got to do it.’” – on Downloading Nancy
William Hurt – “When you’re in the scene with her, she’s home. She’s there. So she’s doing something.”
William Hurt – “Maria is a very considerate person. She’s not just in flagrante delicto. She obviously has a structured approach to life. She’s got a life and integrity, and integrity means there’s life and structure and principles. That’s what you’re working with — the idea of total spontaneity is total chaos, for God’s sake. There’s form there. There are things she’s trying to convey and questions that she’s asking her peers, and there’s a real conversation there and I can understand it. She’s considerate. Lack of structure? Maybe she doesn’t prepare the way I do, but she prepares.”